Sunday, March 9, 2008

Hmmm

There have been moments in my life when I've taken a step back and asked myself, "Who AM I?" This usually occurs when I find myself in unusual or bizarre circumstances.

Packing up for college, graduating then getting a "real job," taking the GRE test, (afterward I nearly fell out of my chair and passed out. I admit, I thought it was hard.) All of these events made me feel like a little kid in a grown up's body.

I found myself in that place again this weekend. Alone in a Houston hotel. Sent as a freelance journalist to cover an event at a local university. Suddenly, I become a gatekeeper of news and information. (That sounds much more important than it actually is.) Am I qualified to make these decisions? Really? Me?

If you asked me at age 11 what my identity was, it was a ballerina/Girl Scout/ homeschooler. What's your answer? Maybe you were raising bunnies in 4-H, or maybe you were in the glee club, or on the chess team. Last weekend, it was a weird experience to be introduced to strangers "so-in-so's ex-girlfriend." Not a way most people like to be introduced. It's weird to still be remembered by others as something that is not part of my identity anymore.

So what IS my identity?

The Lord flooded my mind Friday night with many promises from His word. You are mine. Your identity is hidden in MY identity. I formed and fashioned you long ago, and breathed life into you. You belong to me. When the Father looks down on his children, he doesn't see our mistakes, or successes, our best efforts, he sees the blood of his son Jesus Christ covering us. I am a child of the most High God.

For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Ps. 139:13-16

So yes. I am a redhead. A daughter, sister and friend. Administrative assistant-turned PR consultant-turned freelance writer. Sinful, prideful and selfish. But through the grace bestowed upon me at the cross, now a daughter of the King. Fully loved, acceptable and pleasing to the Father.

1 comment:

eLiSe said...

i love this. and i've been thinking through these same things the last week or so. love you.