Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
I smiled when I saw your name in my inbox.
I am doing better today. :) My heart was not broken. It’s just bruised and hurting.
I really really truly trust this was for the best. I mean it!
So…the thought of talking to ppl, the thought of explaining a story I don’t really understand anyway, that wears me out.
But … I am being held by Jesus and I really feel his presence in my life and people’s prayers over me.
I can’t worry about the future, and what God may or may not do. I trust him right now, in this moment.
That is what I'm after - suffering well. Trusting God. Not reaching or grasping or struggling through choppy waves for happiness, but resting in his deep well of joy. I don't know if this is biblical or not so maybe one of you seminary kids can check this, but I don't think anywhere in scripture am I promised happiness. I am for sure not promised an easy life. But ... I can rest in this promise: joy is one of the fruits of the spirit. JOY! Deep joy that is found in knowing and believing in my savior, who works everything together for his glory, and our joy in him.
My heart hurts, but is not broken. Every day his mercy is new, and fresh in my life. Sometimes it's moment by moment. But ... I trust him.
This to me is the epitome of suffering well: Last weekend I met an elderly woman at a snow cone stand who was buying one for her daughter. My friend asked if she was having a good day, to which she honestly replied, "No, not really." I went over and talked to her, and found out her daughter is in hospice with a baseball-size tumor in her brain. She asked her mother to bring her a snow cone, as one of her last requests before she died. Oh man, was I tearing up! I have thought of that woman and her daughter many times since, and have prayed for Becky many times. The old woman had lived many years and I'm sure has seen many other trials, and yet she kept walking.
Daughther with a tumor? Cancer at 23? Now that's suffering. The season I'm going through - only temporary. I will still laugh and enjoy my friends and work at my job and rejoice in the Lord both now and in days to come.
I will keep walking, all the while praising the one who gave me life and breath, a mind to think, and a heart to feel sorrow and joy.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
So I went to Target (who doesn't love Target!) and laid a chunk of money down for some great organizers and stuff. You know, the little plastic things with the drawers and whatnot. Anyway, from 5:00 pm to 1:00 am I worked (I took a break to watch The Office) and got all my crap organized. And I threw out a bunch of stuff as well.
Then my awesome roommate came in and commented on the amount of clothes in my closet. Sooo...she went through everything with me and was really candid "Those stripes look like Abercrombie and Fitch," and "Just because you work at BGCT doesn't mean you have to dress like it." I got the message, and before long I would just throw stuff into the pile without even making a case for why I should keep it. It was hilarious! I never throw anything away, and have kept some of the same stuff since high school. So, this was long overdue. THANKS AMY I NEEDED YOUR HELP!!
This is all part of the "Clean Slate in 08" campaign.
Monday, May 5, 2008
"In a jar fireflies only last for one night" -Rhett Miller
Yesterday I had the privilege of spending a beautiful, lazy day in Waco. Chris and I went on a walk in a neighborhood that, back in the 40's, was full of wealth with large, sprawling homes. Now they are a bit more run down, weeds growing like crazy and wooden porches and staircases leaning crooked. But, it is obvious that at one time these were nice homes. Rosebushes are still blooming in artist's brush strokes of yellow and pink.
Then we saw fireflies! Reminiscent of hot summer days in Oklahoma when I was little. Going out to my grandpa's vegetable garden, that kind of thing. So anyway, back to the fireflies.
They just amaze me.
Created by the Father, for a specific purpose. To glow. They are ugly to look at normally, but when they are lit up they're fulfilling the Father's purpose for them. To shine!
All creation groans for the return of Christ (Romans 8:22) and until then, we will toil to fulfill our God-given purpose here on earth, and be sanctified daily into the image of Him. What a cool reminder, all from some crazy bugs.