Mellow Times

First I would like to thank President Bush for my tax rebate coming later this spring - I took it as an invitation to purchase a new ipod. I'd like to call her Coby, after the super nice Apple employee who helped me Saturday. This is already helping kick up my workouts a notch, which is probably why I'm so SORE right now! Having mono kept me from working out for two months, so now it's like climbing a mountain back up to the peak! But the ipod helps keep me going longer!

On that note, I am the most non-techno savvy person around. I basically just don't care. But this is cool - we got wireless internet at our apartment and cable tv WITH DVR - this is a big deal for those of you who know me. Typically, I am the last to get hit with the technology train. But now I'm doing my best to hop on.

I am packing to go to Atlanta for a few days, partially for work and partially for fun mini-vacay with my little brother.

I've been thinking lately that the Lord is doing something big in my life and I'm just waiting around to see what He's gonna hit me with next. Almost like waiting for the sky to drop again in a semi-negative way. But in reality ... I know He's allowing me to enjoy a mellow life for a little while. Just having fun with friends and life and work, and truly being content where He's put me for now. God really is so good. Regardless of the difficulty or ease of circumstances. He's the same yesterday, today, and forever.

My heart is so calm and I have to praise the Lord for that. It's a wonderful feeling. :)

A few new things:

Self-disclosure really isn't my thing right now - a lot is going on in my heart and mind and I feel like I'm still sorting these things out. I want to fully understand what the Lord's showing me right now. Maybe it's something big, or maybe I am just so exhausted of thinking at all that my mind is getting a break for awhile. Either way, here's some new things going on with me right now, in list format:

1. I went with some friends to get a tattoo last weekend, then chickened out.
2. I am meeting the Texas Rangers' baseball team tonight
3. I am sore right now from Pilates class
4. In a few months, I wanna trade in Millie (my Honda CRV) to get a Hybrid Prius
5. I am really enjoying listening to A Fine Frenzy
6. Common Grounds in Waco has the BEST coffee I've had in awhile
7. It's been awhile since I've been two-stepping and even longer since I've been spun well on the dance floor.
8. ... my coworker just made popcorn and it's wafting this way ... smells delicious ... mmm

Unquestionable

Pastel blue eyeshadow is never okay.

"Grace, you either have it or you don't" -Seinfeld

Last year, everytime I saw my life going in one direction, it changed abruptly. Looking back, I know the Lord not only brought me through those hard times, but strengthened my faith, and showed me a few beautiful moments in between.

I have always wanted to live a life that's deeply felt, closely examined, and lived in the ultimate fullness of joy. But I have learned that situations, people, jobs, relationships, money, possessions are not what bring about joy, or rich abundant life. Joy comes from trusting the Lord with EVERYTHING I have.

This has helped me let go of a lot of things lately. I feel so much safer knowing I can't control my life in order to bring about happiness. Trusting in the Lord fully is helping me quit controlling circumstances in my life. Oh sure, I could probably do more to "tweak" certain things to turn out the way I think I want. But I trust the Lord will take care of me when I open my hands on the death grip on my life that I used to control situations with.

Does this make me passive? No! I am actively submitting my will and desires to a God who loves me more than I comprehend. He made the heavens and the stars and everything underneath it, and I know he will take care of me.

And the COOL thing is: I have been so much happier these days. I am learning God shows himself through GOOD times, not just stressful circumstances. He does things for us simply because He is good. That is almost mind-blowing to comprehend. I don't fully understand it nor do I deserve it, but then again that's the definition of grace.

You will make known to me the path of life, in your presence is fullness of joy, in your right hand are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

*Thanks to JH for the Seinfeld quote

Combos

There are many great combos of the world:
Pizza and diet cherry coke, a personal favorite
Superman and Lois Lane
A mullet, fanny pack and high rise denim jeans (a few of you know exactly what I mean)
Fajitas and Margaritas
The beach and sunsets
The 3 for 3 deal at Taco Villa (Dallas is missing out on this one)
There are many others!

Now here’s a BAD combo:
Bored, restless and hungry.

That is where I find myself today.

I want to travel to Barcelona this summer to visit my little brother. I want to go to Africa and hold orphan babies. I want a more challenging job. Right now I want …. FOOD. Grr.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled…” John 14:27

Peace and patience, a combo I need to work on.

Sometimes I feel like this at work ....

....at least my office supplies aren't in jello!

Contentment

In Proverbs:
"Two things i ask of you; deny them not to me before i die: remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest i be full and deny you and say, "who is the Lord?" or lest i be poor and steal and profane the name of my God."

Neither poverty nor riches.

Sometimes I think the downfall in America is that we're too well-fed, too warm at night and too "secure" to really reach, grasp, struggle for and desire a real relationship with Jesus Christ. I didn't come up with this on my own, I stole the idea from Jon Randles, who spoke at my work today during chapel. But regardless ... I believe it.

We're too secure and comfortable to really have to pray big. To have any expectations of the Lord, or have any real needs to be met by him. We don't NEED him desperately because we're so secure.

I don't want to fall in that gap, and worship a shadow of living God instead of falling on my face before his true image.

Yes, a big flat screen tv and a real Dolce purse would be nice, but I'll take my regular tv and fake NYC bootleg Dolce instead.

No silver platters.

You may think I'm crazy.

Smoke in Mirrors

Some thoughts on 08 ...

I'm not making resolutions this year. That is a very "American dream, go-get em" mindset. And the truth of the matter is that no matter how much we "resolve" to be better people, the only way we can live more satifying lives is by daily throwing ourselves on the mercy found at the foot of the cross. (And besides, just look at how many people quit going to the gym by mid-February.)

Lately it has given me so much joy to take life one day at a time. His word promises that his grace is sufficient for today.

And why worry about tomorrow? Because tomorrow will take care of itself. If the lilies of the field are clothed in all their splendor, how much more will the Lord take care of us?!!

BUT - I have learned that doesn't mean life is easy. Sometimes his grace simply allows me to endure hard times. (Prime example: 2007) But through it all God has been oh, so abundantly GOOD...

...another thing on my mind is the question: am I worshipping the THINGS of God, or do I seek his face and his nature solely? I don't want to be a person who blows smoke in mirrors, or worships the Lord's shadow instead of his beautiful, true image.

"Those who look to him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame." Psalm 34:5

So ... no resolutions. But I am getting a tattoo. So that's my big change for 08.

And my motto is: "Clean Slate in 08, baby!"